When nonfiction writer Ben Appel attended a non-traditional program at Columbia University, barely more than a decade separated him from the younger students who had already displaced gay with “queer” – and displayed open hatred of “cis gays” like himself. Ben knows what homophobia looks like, and recognized it in the “safe spaces” pervading campus culture. His introspective writing is informed by his experience in cults, as well as his recovery. He discusses the difference between slurs and validation trophies; victimhood as a component of identity; medicalizing homosexuality; feminism; and the ideological capture of minds and institutions.