Remember the Free and Open Internet? Tech journalist Bryan Lunduke does, and isn’t afraid to write about its demise one institutional capture at a time. We discuss having our hearts broken by our beloved Internet Archive; the Wikipedia Foundation’s shady dealings; the Electronic Frontier Foundation’s championing “the right for little children to look at porn on the internet”; and Mozilla’s “Feminist decolonial lgbtqia+ climate justice using AI event in Zambia.” Like any good journalists, we ask the tough questions: How do you get your name forbidden by ChatGPT? Who is more banned from conferences, Lunduke or Paley? Are we gonna have a free and open internet, or not? (Answer: not.) Whether you love nerds or merely are one, this entertaining episode will have you wanting to get offline more than ever.